Conversation Between Friends: Relationship Dilemmas

You’ve heard the saying:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime…

What does this mean for you and the relationship dilemma you are currently experiencing?

My take on this clever little mnemonic is this:

The ‘why’ relationship?

The ‘why’ relationships can feel challenging or difficult, they are easy to recognise ~ your relationship may be beset with problems and high drama, you tell yourself you can’t live with ’em and you can’t live without ’em!  You tend to spend a lot of your time asking yourself ‘why?’ and sighing in exasperation. This group of people generally rock up to show you something about yourself, or the way you are living your life. They almost hold a mirror up to you. Sometimes the lesson is as subtle as, ‘you deserve better than this, raise your game!’ These people can be viewed as ‘teachers’.  Sometimes they are in your life for a long time, or until your lesson is learned.  Stick with it, stay open-minded, they don’t mean to be a pain and remember in some scenarios, the teacher role could actually be you!

Summer Love

The second group, the ‘seasonal’ ones, are easier to identify. They could be holiday romances, people you went to school or college with, people who worked really intensely with on a project and them *puff* as quickly as they came into your life, they disappear. You have to pinch yourself to check it really happened. It all seemed so technicolour, intense, exciting.  In my experiences these sorts of relationships usually leave happy memories, perhaps life-changing moments in your life’s romantic road map.

It’s Forever!

The ‘lifers’ are in this group. This doesn’t mean your relationship will be plain sailing by any stretch, but there may be a feeling of precognition or deja vue on both sides, an uncanny sense of almost telepathic understanding. And for the lucky few these may also be in the relationships you marry, have children with and grow old with.  You may even meet them when you are young.

Or your relationship role might be that of an eternal Peter Pan; flitting like a butterfly from lover to lover, spreading fun, love and laughter and a sprinkling of tears on peoples’ shoulders as you fly lightly through the uniquely fascinating maze of human emotions.

Wherever you’re at, and who ever you’re with, try to enjoy the ride, learn your lessons and remember that no one can truly love you until you are 100% at peace with who YOU are.

© Suzy Rigg

Image reproduced with courtesy of


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