The same theme keeps cropping up: surrender, letting go, move forward, go with the flow. But what does it mean and how on earth are you supposed to do this, with so much emotion already invested?
It’s not an easy subject but one that needs some thought as we approach the end of the year. Doesn’t really matter what the year is, it’s about all ending and beginnings.
You may have heard the saying that people come in your life ‘for a reason, a season or a lifetime’, meaning they are in your life to teach you something about yourself or other people (a reason) a season, these are friends that appear at particular times in your life usually through a major change or transition. A good example of this is the friends you make when you start University or College, or a new job, become a parent or experience some tragedy or loss. These friends generally are in your life to share and empathise with you as they are probably going through, or have gone through a similar experience. A lifetime. That needs no explanation! These are the friends we all hope and wish for and in some cases, people really do last the duration. This can be very special indeed.
So how do you tell what sort of friendship yours is?
1. Think about how you met that person.
2. Do you have much else to talk about apart from a shared issue?
3. Do you find that you ‘need’ that person less and less in your life to help you make decisions or as a shoulder to lean on?
4. Do you find that either you contact the friend less often or they only contact you when they have a problem?
5. Does this friend know your friends from different circles?
There are no straight ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers to these questions, they are just things to think about as your friendship starts to change as they all do. Some friendships deepen with time, others fade and one of you will decide it’s best just to ‘let go’. Other friendships just roll on and even through you’re not in each other’s pockets, you just pick up where you left off, even if you left off a year ago!
It is a flow and friends, unlike family are chosen so it’s important that the friends you choose are able to enrich and support your life’s journey as hopefully you will theirs.
If it feels difficult, strained or becomes an area of stress in itself, it might be time to ask yourself some of those earlier questions as you start to re-evaluate your friendships.
Whatever you decide to do, take comfort from the knowledge that like leaves falling from trees in the winter, new friendships do blossom and grow in the months and years to come.
Another friendship post that you might like: Truth Serum! http://tinyurl.com/69gn7op
© Suzy Rigg